Are you guilty of self-sabotage? Do you find yourself creating an issue or a problem where there isn’t any just because you’re afraid of failure or frightened? Perhaps internally you’re sending yourself a negative message, and although you are trying to protect yourself, ultimately this message is just holding you back. Everyone does it sometimes. And there are those who put obstacles in their way on a regular basis. Essentially, people fall into in two different belief system groups when it comes to facing life’s challenges—those with a fixed mindset and those with a growth mindset.
Psychoanalyst David Krueger, M.D., told Forbes that people who assume a fixed mindset tend to stay in their comfort zone indefinitely. “They like to avoid challenges that don’t have an assured outcome because otherwise they might not meet their own standards or be accepted by those they are trying to impress. I would say that’s a pretty good example of self-sabotage. That M.O. basically ensures you will stay on that hamster wheel indefinitely.” Self-sabotaging behavior only instigates new problems, interferes with long-term goals, and unsettles relationships. Here are 10 ways you may be self-sabotaging that you weren’t even aware of.
1. You are the Queen of Procrastination
If you are anything like Scarlett O’Hara from Gone with the Wind, then leaving everything for tomorrow is your M.O. Though it’s likely that come tomorrow, it still won’t get done. Why not seize the day instead?
2. Overspending When You Can’t Afford It
The minute something makes you uneasy or angry do you hit the stores and spend on things you really don’t need and don’t have the savings to pay for? Walk out of the stores and save your hard earned money.
3. You Would Rather Help Another Than Yourself
While it’s great to help others as much as you can, especially for karma purposes, according to Psychology Today, self-sabotogers don’t have a healthy balance between doing for others and doing for themselves. It’s like being on a plane during an emergency where moms use the oxygen first in order to help their children.
4. You Blame Something or Someone
Does it always seems like you point fingers at loved ones, colleagues, the economy, your government, society, and never truly consider what you may have contributed to what happened? Take responsibility.
Are you floating down the river of denial? Lying to yourself constantly to make yourself feel better about a situation that needed to be dealt with in order to move forward successfully? Time to wake up and smell the coffee.
6. Over Eating, Drinking or Taking Drugs
Do you get stressed and find yourself comfort eating, drinking too much or turning to drugs for comfort? Turn to healthy meals instead; your body is a temple.
7. Not Outsourcing or Asking for Help
Self-sabotagers love to take on responsibilities and turn their work loads into mountains without ever asking for help. Don’t needlessly torture yourself and delegate your work to others.
8. You are Negative About Yourself
Stop beating yourself up! Self-sabotagers are known to have a critical voice inside their heads that never lets up. They are also the first to put themselves down should you give them a compliment.
9. You are a Total Perfectionist
If everything has to be absolutely positively perfect, then nothing will ever get done or be completed. Shoot for a close to perfect job. Life is messy and imperfect.
10. You Fear Success
Though you have ambitions in love and career matters, every time everything is going really well and new opportunities emerge, like a promotion or a marriage proposal, you somehow freak out and want to hide under a rock where it’s safe. You can handle it; you are one smart and lucky person.