All relationships have peaks and valleys, good times and not-so-great ones. In fact, the fantasy of love at first sight, knowing you’ve met your soul mate with never a doubt or conflict along the way may not signal a perfect relationship. Social psychologist and professor at University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Management, Dr. Spike W.S. Lee says, “Our findings corroborate prior research showing that people who implicitly think of relationships as perfect unity between soul mates have worse relationships than people who implicitly think of relationships as a journey of growing and working things out.”
Knowing that love is a journey and expecting ups and downs, how do you spot bad relationships? There are limits to what the bad times should entail in a healthy relationship. If the ups are starting to feel like anthills and the downs like bottomless pits, it could be time to think about being single for a while. To help you assess your own, here are 15 surefire signs you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
1. You realize you’re becoming someone you don’t recognize
Bad relationships cause anxiety. Normal, healthy relationships inspire both individuals to grow and change. However, if you feel like you’re losing yourself, it’s time to take a step back and think about where you’re headed.
2. You don’t wake up feeling hopeful
People who are happy in their relationships wake up excited for another day with the person they love. If you’re not hopeful or happy about much of anything, it’s time to make some changes.
3. Your friends and family don’t like him
Your family and friends are pretty much always looking out for your best interests. If they get a bad vibe from the person you’ve chosen to be with, take a moment to consider that and feel empowered to ask them questions about what rubs them the wrong way.
4. You don’t feel good about yourself
In an unhealthy relationship you feel terrible most of the time. Your partner should lift you up and make you feel beautiful, intelligent and absolutely incredible compared to everyone and anyone else out there.
5. You’re increasingly attracted to other people
Even in the healthiest relationships, it’s normal to find other people attractive from time to time. If your eye is wandering more than usual and you’re increasingly tempted to act on those urges, it’s not okay.
6. He’s controlling
We teach our kids that they are the bosses of their own bodies from the time they know they even have a body, right? Well, just because you’re in a relationship with another person doesn’t mean he or she has any power or control over you or yours. Many bad relationships often involve jealousy and control issues.
7. Bickering and arguments are more frequent than good times
Disagreements are normal, even healthy, in relationships. Find that they’ve been outweighing the times you agree or enjoy one another’s company? That’s not good.
8. Your sex life isn’t what it could be
Dry spells are normal as long as you’re communicating your needs and desires and working toward meeting them as a couple. If that’s not happening, how will it ever improve?
9. You don’t trust him
Call us old-fashioned but we think that relationships are still supposed to be based on a foundation of trust (and love and such too, of course). If you don’t trust your partner, for whatever reason, the whole thing is pretty much doomed.
10. He’s overly jealous
This is controlling, passive aggressive and manipulative behavior. Excessive jealousy isn’t something you want in a relationship and, while it may feel good that you’re that valuable or important to your partner, it’s not coming from a healthy, loving place at all.
11. You’re becoming isolated from family and friends
A good partner wants you to be fulfilled in all areas of life, not just with him or her. You should feel encouraged to maintain the relationships outside of your romance that keep you happy and balanced overall.
12. You just can’t seem to communicate
Communication is hard for even the couples in the best of relationships so if it feels as though you’re speaking two completely different languages, it might be impossible to keep up.
13. You’re keeping secrets
Hiding things from your partner is a definite sign that something’s wrong. In a healthy relationship, there is no room for either of those things.
14. He can’t compromise.
Newsflash: Relationships are all about compromise. If you’re the only one doing it, you’re doing it wrong.
15. The sound of his breathing is like fingernails on a chalkboard
Breathing, eating, sleeping, brushing teeth… If your partner’s little habits that you once thought were adorable are now making you cringe with disgust, it’s time to take a step back and examine just where all the magic went.
The post Get out of there: 15 telltale signs you’re in the wrong relationship appeared first on MundoHispanico.